Made in God's Image

“So God created humankind in his image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them” (Genesis 1:27)

Sometimes I find myself sitting back and viewing my small life in this vast world with complete wondrous awe. Why did God create me? Why did God create humanity? What are we all doing here?

Our existences can be summarized by one word: gift. The God who loved humanity into existence and who loved us as individuals into the world continues to love us with unconditional entirety. We are here because we are loved.

The striking reality that we are loved unconditionally by our creator is especially pertinent this week, as it is Love Your Body Week at Notre Dame and National Eating Disorders Awareness Week.

I had the opportunity to speak with an extremely courageous fellow Notre Dame student and friend last week about her battle with loving herself. For the sake of privacy, I will call her by my middle name, Ann. I am grateful and honored to share a bit of her story with you.

Ann was bullied in middle school: she was labeled a “band geek” because she loved making music and had a passion for learning. She was called “prude” for refusing to wear revealing clothing. She was deeply influenced by the objectification of women in the media. Ann found herself in an isolated, lonely place where faith in God and positive self-image felt impossible. She remembers declaring herself an atheist at one point.

The eating disorder developed gradually but steadily. Ann exercised obsessively and excessively, running 8-14 miles each day, and planned every meal down to the last calorie. Her condition can be described as exercising anorexia. Ann lost twenty pounds in a month and a half, becoming dangerously thin but veiling her malnourished body under baggy clothes. Gradually, Ann realized she needed help. She informed her parents about her addiction to exercise and her unhealthy relationship with food, and her parents took loving action by taking her to a doctor to find out what could be done.

A particular visit to the doctor became a sort of wake-up call. Ann was struck with the realization that she had two choices: she could continue down this road of self-destruction (and, as she bluntly states, die from it), or she could fiercely pursue healing. Though it probably seemed like an impossibly daunting task at the time, Ann chose the latter.

In the midst of her distorted self-image and confusion, Ann’s family’s devotion to their Catholic faith pointed her back to the Church. It became clear that God, who loves without ceasing, was the only answer. Ann committed herself to attending 6:45 a.m. Mass every day for the rest of high school, and relied on God to carry her emaciated body and mental state out of their weakest moment in time. It was her faith and her trust in God’s love that delivered the healing she so craved. She embarked upon a rigorous journey of discipline, which affected all of her habits: eating, exercising, praying. After months of being overwhelmed by desperation, she finally began to regain control.

“In our lowest points,” Ann insists, “we become closer to God” – if we open ourselves up, even the tiniest bit, to the love that is forever being poured out to and for us. When she was unable to see hope of her own accord anymore, she “let go, and let God.”

Ann’s transition to Notre Dame has been a “much needed” one, but an extremely difficult one all the same. She has continued her practice of attending daily Mass on campus, which has helped her through points in her time here when she has become complacent in her faith life. Ann tries to see God in everything, especially her weakest moments – every reflective surface brings back memories of her battle with self-image and self-love in high school.

Why is she sharing her story now?

Ann has noticed that we live in a culture where it’s expected that we’re always “good.” People are forever “fine” – “How are you?” doesn’t carry much weight in passing. No one says “bad” when they’re bad. Ann’s struggle to recognize the beauty and dignity in herself has not vanished since being in the throes of her battle with anorexia. But now, when reflective surfaces prompt thoughts of not being good enough or other life stressors take over, she has learned to turn to her faith and to share that she is overwhelmed with friends. This has been a refreshing change that has infused her relationships with authenticity, including her relationship with herself.

“Part of the beauty of humanity is learning to struggle with God,” Ann muses. God desires that we let His love penetrate every aspect of our lives. This week is an important reminder that each of us is uniquely made in God’s image and loved beyond the scope of our imagination. “How are you?” can make all the difference – for the worse, or for the better.